


Say it just one more time..

by Mifrifi



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Memories, Depression, Dwarf/Hobbit Sex, M/M, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 02:29:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mifrifi/pseuds/Mifrifi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small bet can change your life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Say it just one more time**

It was so beautiful.  
So indescribable and beautiful.  
Thank you.  
Thank you for everything you've done for me.  
I am grateful, because you were with me.  
I am grateful, because you have listened to me.  
I am grateful, because you have given me the feeling to be important.  
To be important for you.  
It was the most beautiful thing ever.  
Even if only for a little moment.

  
~~ Bilbo Baggins

 

I am sorry.  
So unspeakably sorry... I do not even know how to put it into words.  
I have betrayed your trust.  
I have used you. I have lied to you. I have cheated you.  
To see how you forcing a smile, even though you feel like crying, is the worst for me.  
I wish I could turn back the clock.  
I wish I could undo everything.  
Turn back the clock and start again.  
But then I am doing it right...

  
~~ Thorin Oakenshield

 

Did you have fun?  
You laughed certainly about me. Together with your friends you laughed about me.  
You laughed about me and how stupid and gullible I am.  
You laughed about me and how easy it was for you.  
You laughed about me and how easy it was to use me.  
But...  
I do not care.  
Use me again for your sick games.  
Lie to me again.  
I allow you this, because it's the only thing I have.

  
~~ Bilbo Baggins

 

You are important to me, but you would not believe me.  
You're everything to me, but you think it's all just a lie.  
Tell me, my dear Darling... Am I guilty?  
Probably ...  
Certainly ...  
Of course ...  
I'm a selfish monster.  
I do not deserve that you smile at me.  
I wish I would be worthy of your love, but I had destroyed everything.  
All I once loved, I lost by my selfishness and pride.  
And now, now I sink into the swamp of my own lies.

  
~~ Thorin Oakenshield


	2. And as long as I am alive, my heart will not rest...

And as long as I'm alive, my heart will not rest...

 

_"Is the poor boy alone again?" the kindergarten teacher looked at the little boy, who sat alone in the corner and just waited. For what she did not know, she also did not ask him. What could answer the child to that?_

_"He's always alone, I've often tried it to familiarize him with the others, but as soon as I turn around, he goes away!"_

_"A strange child!"_

_"I heard his parents did not want him!"_

_"What?"_

_"Yes, his parents did not want him.They have been very young when Bilbo were born. They have deported him and disappeared."_

_"Where?"_

_"Where? Well, no one knows..."_

_"Who's watching over him?"_

_"I do not know!"_

_"As I said before... he´s always alone!"_

_"Poor little thing."_

_"Poor? It is his own fault."_

 

_It is interesting to see that people always think that you would not hear them, when they talk about you. But you are standing right next to them. You are sitting in the near or hear it from others. Just like now. The kindergarten teachers talked about Bilbo and thought he would not hear them, but he heard it. Clearly and distinctly. And every word struck him down. Any words hurt him a little bit more. He tried to smile, but his eyes were filled with tears._

_"It´s okay... Bilbo!" he said._

_"Don´t cry!"._

_He had started to talk to himself. He had only himself. And he knew what he could say without getting hurt by his own words._

_"Grandpa!" Bilbo looked up. It was nice to see how all others were picked up by their parents or grandparents. Especially when he was picked up. He was the most beautiful thing Bilbo had ever seen. He was brave and cheerful and had everything. He had the perfect life._

_Bilbo smiled._

_"Thorin?" His thin voice was barely audible. He did not dare to speak aloud. It was a miracle anyway that Bilbo said something. Otherwise, he remained silent._

_"The Loser's talking to you!" laughed Dwalin, Thorin's best friend and looked at Bilbo. Thorin turned around and grinned._

_"What do you want?"_

_"I ... I ... I ..."_

_"I ... I ... I ...? What is that?"_

_"Maybe the sound of a loser?" laughed Dwalin. Bilbo forced a smile._

_He went back one step, and murmured: "Forget it"_

_"Come on, let him! He has no friends anyway!" Dwalin shook his head and went way... together with Thorin. Bilbo sighed and hung his head._

_What was that? He had made a fool out of him. Thorin thought certainly that Bilbo was crazy. It was sad. It made him sad and he did not know how to deal with it._

_He sat back in the corner and buried his face in his hands. He wept bitterly. Thorin would never see him in the same light as he sees him. Thorin would never even have a slightest idea, how Bilbo felt for him._

_Maybe it was stupid to say it, but Thorin is Bilbo´s big love. His big, big love for the rest of his life._

 

 _H_ _e waited, as always, so that all the children had been picked up before he took his little bag and left the kindergarten._

_..._

_On the way home he always went through the city and, as always, he stayed at the same toy store. He just stood at the window and saw at the toys inside._

_He knew that he would never have such beautiful things, so he only looked at them. He smiled gently. He would give anything, if he could just have one thing._

_Since weeks, this pl_ _ush sitting in the window. It's more a doll. Bilbo loves it. The doll reminds him of Thorin. It has long black hair and blue buttons for his eyes. Of course this was not Thorin. Thorin had short hair, but still ... it reminded him._

_"Mom, do you buy me the doll?" Bilbo looked behind him. He had not realized that there was a girl behind him and pointed to the doll. She wanted to have the exact doll which actually he wanted! Panic rose in him._

_What should he do now?_

_He had no money to buy it and now ... now would go his Thorin plush with this girl and he could not do anything._

_"Yes my dear... but later, okay?!" said the mother and Bilbo went inside of the toy store._

_"Aaah, there you are! My best customer!" the old chubby man saw at Bilbo._

_"_ _You're always in front of the window, but you never come in my toy store. Don´t you like it?"_

_"Oh, it´s beautiful. Very beautiful, but... I´ve no money!"_

_"No, money?"_

_"No!" Bilbo shook his head._

_"But... but I would do and give anything to have..."_

_"The doll?"_

_"Yes, but I know that it is far too expensive and I can never pay you appropriate!" Bilbo hung his head._

_"I only heard out there how a girl asked her mother if she would buy her the doll! So... I... I... wanted to say goodbye to the doll!" Bilbo had not realized that the man was gone. Bilbo just looked on the floor, kept talking, biting his lips._

_"Here!"_

_He looked up. In front of him._

_The doll._

_"I will give it to you!"_

_Bilbo was speechless._

_"I'd rather give the to such a dear boy, as to a spoiled girl, which gets all she wants!"_

_"What you ... give it to me?"_

_"Yes, take it! You do not have to pay for it... just let me see your honest smile!"_

_The old chubby man smiled. Bilbo could hardly believe his luck. He looked at the man, pressed the doll and smiled._

_"Thank you so much!" He turned around and ran out of the store and saw the girl._

_He had the doll._

_He had it at last!_

_Finally ..._

 

**BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**

 

"Mmm..." Bilbo turned around.

The alarm clock rang. He pulled the thin blanket over his head and swallowed hard.

"The beautiful moment after wake up before you realize what kind of life you have!" said Bilbo to himself and smiled.

"Good moring, Thorin!" He gave the doll he had received 15 years ago a kiss.

He stood up, turned off the alarm clock and looked around in his little room. He did not have much. Of course not.

His parents did not want him. He lived since he could think alone. No friends. Nothing.

Except Thorin - his doll. The doll had many torn open seams and the right eye was missing. But he still loved the doll more than anything else.

It was all he had and for him the doll had a tremendous value.


	3. The one and only...

**The one and only**

 

Bilbo hurried along the way. He had to hurry. He had lost some time at the train station and now he'd be late. That would be another reason for the others to laugh about him. He did not want it. He was teased enough for the rest of his life. He did not want to be always the idiot. He wanted to have his rest. But that was just a pipe dream... probably forever.

"Baggins!" Bilbo turned around and looked how Dwalin was leaning against a tree. He grinned disgusting in Bilbo's direction.

"Are you late again?" Bilbo said nothing. He just went ahead and tried to ignore the shouts of his classmate. Dwalin grinning. He pushed himself away from the tree and went behind Bilbo.

"Baggins!"

"Please, Dwalin... leave me alone!"

"Why? I just want to talk to you!"

"No, you would not just talk to me! You hate me!"

"No, I do not hate you, I just love to tease you!" Bilbo stopped and looked to Dwalin. He wanted to say something, but he did not.

"Then do what you want!" Bilbo lowered his head and just waited. Then he would come probably really late. But he could not change it. So was his life.

"You seem to like this, hmm?" Bilbo did not answer. He only noticed how Dwalin´s hand wrapped around his neck and lifted him.

His backpack fell to the ground and his feet no longer touched the ground.

"You are so short. That's disgusting!" said Dwalin and laughed.

"Sorry. Unfortunately I could not influence that!" he whispered softly, biting his lips. Dwalin just laughed.

"You idiot!" He pressed Bilbo rudly to the stone wall and looked at him.

"Why do you come to school, then you've got anyway anybody!"

"Why should I not come? Just because I have no friends?" asked Bilbo.

"Just as I said... you are a idiot!" replied Dwalin. Hatefully saw Dwalin to Bilbo.

He pushed Bilbo's face to the wall. He injured Bilbo. Deep welts dragged on his cheek. Bilbo kept his eyes closed and just hoped that it would be soon over.

"What?" laughed Dwalin.

"Are you crying?" Bilbo shook his head and tried not to look at Dwalin. He did not want that he saw him cry. He cried too often. He did not want it. Not yet.

"Dwalin! Leave him alone!"

However, a familiar voice induced him to open his eyes.

"Thorin ... there you are!" Dwalin smiled.

Immediately Dwalin let him go. Bilbo fell to the ground and did not look up. He took his backpack and walked past the two. He wiped his eyes so the others could not see his tears, before he entered the school building.

...

Bilbo stood before the mirror and looked at himself. His cheek was on fire. It hurt where he was now injured. He wiped with a wet cloth the blood away. He wept. He was just glad that no one was here. No one could see him cry. Then he would be again the loser. The loser who had no friends. The loser who's always crying.

He sighed. Before he left the room, he looked around, if no one was there. so he could be sure, to reach the class without prejudice.

...

"Dwalin. Why do not you stop teasing on these Baggins?" asked Thorin, who was already long in the class. He looked at the empty place where actually always Bilbo sat.

"Because it's fun." Dwalin did not care about the fact, that Bilbo was not in the class. He was certainly somewhere and cried his little eyes out.

"You could get massive trouble!" laughed Thorin

"From the loser? He doesn´t dare to fight back. So why should I get in trouble?" Dwalin looked at his friend. Thorin nooded.

"He has certainly a caregiver who take care of him! You better watch out!" Dwalin shook his head.

"Oh Thorin... What must I hear? Do you have some pity for this idiot?"

"Pity? No... with this idiot? No!"

"Oh yes! You have!" Thorin was about to reply, when suddenly the door opened and Bilbo sat without saying a word at his table. Saruman, their teacher saw angry at Bilbo, wrote something down and continued teaching.

"You hurt him!" said Thorin quietly as he saw the cuts on Bilbo's cheek.

"So what? So his face looks a lot better!" answered Dwalin and sighed happy, when he heard the schoolbell.

"School break!" Dwalin took Thorin and ran out of the class.

"Baggins... come here!" Saruman looked at Bilbo. The boy nodded and stood up. He went to his teacher, and waited for his punishment, because he was too late.

...

"You know what?" Dwalin grinned in the round.

"Thorin feels sorry for the loser Baggins!" he laughed and Nori and Smaug were beginning to laugh, too.

"Stop the crap! I don´t feel sorry for him!" bleated Thorin and crossed his arms.

"Why? You have pity on him!!!" Dwalin looked at him expectantly.

"How can you have pity with such a loser?" asked Smaug, shaking his head. Nori just laughed. Dwalin liked it embarrass his best friend. With an effort he thought about what he could do to humiliate Thorin and Bilbo (at the same time) even more.

And suddenly Nori had the idea!

"How about a bet?" "A bet?" Thorin looked angry to Nori.

"Sounds good, let's hear!" Smaug grinned.

"I bet with you that you can not manage that Bilbo trusts you!"

"Trust?" Dwalin grinned. "This is it!"

"Trust is so boring!" Smaug looked at the three.

"I bet with you that you can not manage to bring Bilbo falling in love with you!"

"Falling in love?" Thorin shook his head and grinned.

"Why should I do that?"

"Thorin has pity with the loser!" Nori started to sing.

"Stop it!" Thorin was angry. His friends were crazy. But... to be honest... he likes the idea!

"Do it Thorin! Show us that you have no pity for the loser!" Dwalin looked at him.

"You have a month's time!" added Nori .

"Make him to fall in love with you and in one month you will put him in front of the whole school into a bad light... I want you to humiliate him!"

"To humiliate him?" Thorin shook his head.

"You´re crazy!"

"Do it, and you can wish whatever you want!" said Dwalin.

"Whatever I want?" asked Thorin and the three other nodded.

"If that is so ... Then I should make him to my property!".

"Yeah! That´s my Thorin!" laughed Dwalin. The two others grinned.

"And if you fail... you have to pay us for a month for anything we want!" said Nori and the four started to laugh.

"This will be a fun! This idiot will not understand what will be going on."

"He'll think you're going to love him, but instead, you just use him!"

"When do we start?" asked Thorin and the three grinned nasty.

"Immediately!"


	4. Be mine forever...

**Be mine forever...**

"Do you really think that he is so stupid and will believe me?" asked Thorin and giggled. The more he thought about the whole bet, he more he liked it. To exploit Baggins was not really nice, but it was his own fault, that someone did something like this with him. He was just annoying and maybe he would finally notice this?

"Of course! He's stupid and he will be grateful that someone like you, will love him!" said Smaug and looked at the small boy. They were on the school hallway and Bilbo pulled something out of his school locker.

"There he is! We wish you a great time!" laughed Nori.

"Now go and talk to him. Ask him after his phone number!" add Dwalin.

"Well... Let the games begin!" said Thorin and went to Bilbo.

...

"Hey ... are you feeling better now? I just had to help you!" Thorin's voice was gentle and lovingly. Bilbo looked up and forced a smile.

"Oh ... thank you ... and now you want something for your help?"

"What? No!!" Thorin shook his head. It was harder to speak with Bilbo than he thought. He looked again to his friends, and then smiled in Bilbo's direction.

"No, I want nothing. Although ... I'd like to do something today with you! After school?"

"After school? Today?"

"Yeah! I don´t know... We could go to the cinema!?" Thorin smiled again. Bilbo shook his head.

"Why would you want to do something with me?" With this question he left Thorin alone. Bilbo sat back in the class. He did not want to talk with Thorin. It was nice to be noticed by him, but Thorin should not pretend that he would like him. Thorin was never so nice. Why now? It was certainly a trick!

"Bilbo!" Thorin sat down next to Bilbo and looked at him.

"Please give me a chance! Only a little one!" Bilbo looked at him and shook his head again.

"No." he said softly, and turned away. Thorin just sighed and took Bilbo's hand in his own. He squeezed his hand slightly.

"Bilbo!" he murmured, lowered his head. How could he manage it, that such a stubborn donkey fall in love with him? That was impossible! He never thought, that Bilbo was so stubborn. The bet was probably not as easy as he had assumed it at the beginning. The school bell interruped his thoughts. The students came back and he looked at Bilbo´s hand.

"I will conquer your heart!" he murmured in Bilbo's ear, kissed him on the cheek and sat down next to Dwalin.

"And?"

"Shut up, Dwalin!" Thorin was angry. Dwalin laughed and looked to Bilbo.

"He refuses? Stupid idiot!"

"I said, shut up!" repeated Thorin. He took a sheet of paper and wrote a letter to Bilbo.

...

**My dear Bilbo!**

**Why are you so mean? Don´t you believe me?**   
**Tell me, that you believe me!** **I would never hurt you!**   
  
**Never.**   
  
**You´re always alone. I don´t want this. I do not want that you're alone. You should to be with me.**   
**So you can see, what I see... a wonderful person. You love to read, right? You are always in the library.**   
**If you want, I'll buy every single book which you want to have.**

  
**Give me the chance to prove this to you.**   
  
**Let's go after school in the city.**   
**We can go eat... of course only if you want!**   
**But please, say yes! Make me happy!**   
  
**Love and kisses**

  
**yours Thorin~~**

....

"What have you got there?" Dwalin asked curiously as Thorin folded the letter.

"A letter for Bilbo!" Thorin smiled.

"A letter? Oh, how cute!" He laughed and took the letter.

"Give it back!" whispered Thorin, took the letter and passed it forward. The students handed over the letter to Bilbo.

Bilbo looked at the letter. He looked back to Thorin and looked back at the letter. Thorin tried everything. He would read the letter later.

"Oh, see. He puts the letter away!!" Dwalin laughed again.

"What an idiot!" whispered Smaug.

"He is so conscientious. The lesson is more important, than the only love letter he will ever get!" said Nori and counted his money further.

"Conscientious!" Thorin and looked at Bilbo.

His pretty brown curls. He was small... that was cute. Approx. two heads smaller than he. One momen!? Why was Bilbo pretty for him? Baggins was a loser. A loser without friends. Only a loser.

...

At the end of the hour Thorin took his things and stood in front of Bilbo's table.

"Have you read the letter?" he asked and smiled.

"No, not yet., It is certainly something very nasty!" he muttered, and gave Thorin the letter back.

"What... no! The letter.... it´s a normal love letter!" Thorin went after Bilbo. The letter in his hand. He heard his best friends laughing.

"Shut up!" he whispered. He hurried to catch up to Bilbo and grabbed his hand.

"Bilbo, please... wait!" he said and smiled. He pushed Bilbo against the wall. He stroked his cheek.

"Let us do something together! I'll pick you up." Thorin smiled again. He kissed Bilbo´s forehead.

"What do you have now?"

"I have nothing...!"

"Mmm, pretty. My next lesson is physical education. Do you like to come with me, then you can sit down and watch over me!"

"Watch over you?" Bilbo smiled at the thought. "I do not think that's necessary!"

"Why not?" Thorin looked deep into Bilbo's blue eyes.

He noticed that Bilbo always looked very sad. It looked like as though Bilbo was going to cry. The scars on his cheek seemed to hurt, because every time Thorin touched his cheek twitched the smaller one.

"You always look so sad ... why?" he asked softly.

"Because I have nothing, to be happy!" replied Bilbo. He forced himself to smile.

"You have me!"

"No, I will never have you. You're out of my reach." Bilbo sighed. "Let me go... I wanted to read something!"

"Then I suggest you something! You go to the library, you take a book and then you come to the sports field and sit down where I can see you!"

"No!"

"Yes! Do it! Please! Just for me!" Thorin kissed Bilbo´s injured cheek.

"I want protect you!" whispered Thorin, kissed Bilbo´s cheek and went away. Bilbo looked after him. He sighed. His heart was beating like a thunderstrom. He could not explain it and it made him happy. Very happy. He touched his cheek, where Thorin had kissed him. He smiled gentle.

"Thorin! Wait!" said Bilbo and ran after Thorin.


	5. Do not you see what´s going on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If there is a person who wants to be my beta reader... please say it... i need someone

**Do not you see what´s going on?**

 

It was unusual. Bilbo was normally never surrounded by much people and now he sat here and watched Thorin, while he ran across the field. And this beautiful young man had kissed him... Bilbo could not believe it. It was just too beautiful. Thorin Oakenshield seemed to like him! Him! He had no one and now... Thorin Oakenshield wants to win Bilbo´s heart.

He did not need to do much. After all Bilbo loved him for ages and he never have imagined, that Thorin would love him, too.

"Bilbo!"

Bilbo looked up when he heard someone calling his name. It was Thorin, who smiled at him sweetly and waved. Bilbo was red like a tomato. He raised his hand and waved hesitantly back. Everyone looked at them. They whispering. They wondered what was going on. How Thorin - the beautiful head boy - could choose someone like Bilbo. These two were still like night and day.

Bilbo, the ugly duckling.

...

"Very good!" Smaug suddenly standing next to Thorin and patted him on the shoulder.

"He seems to trust you!" He smirked.

"Yes, at first I thought it would be heavier, but now... you can see how stupid he is!" said Thorin and looked at Smaug.

Smaug´s black curls hanging over his sweaty face. He always had a nasty grin on his lips. He was the terror of the whole school. Many of the students called him Smaug the Terrible. Smaug was terrible for many. For students as well as for teachers. He only laughed about this. He made this name honor in every way.

"It's stupid of him to think you would loved him!" smiled Nori.

Nori was an oddball. He loved nothing except money and bets. He had this idea with Bilbo and the bet. He always wanted to have the big money. Perhaps one of the reasons why he was friends with Thorin. Thorin's family was rich. Very rich. Thorin bothered this. For thus it was mostly. The people liked him because he was rich or looked beautiful. Probably a reason why he was such an asshole.

"The fact that he does not realize that such an ugly duckling like him can not have the love from the pretty Thorin is funny." Dwalin smirked.

Dwalin was of course the bully of the troop. He always had to complain about something. He always found something he did not like. He was very noticeable. Criminal charges were hoarding and he was the best friend of Thorin. They knew each other since they were children. Thorin's parents always say that Dwalin would be a bad friend, but children never listen to what the parents say.

"Ugly duckling?" Thorin looked at Bilbo. "Yes... a very ugly duckling!" Thorin laughed and shook his head. "It will be funny... one month to destroy him and of course to win that bet!"  
...

Bilbo looked at Thorin more closely. He was so beautiful. So unapproachable and far away ... and yet ... it seemed almost as if this beautiful young man was going to be with him. He had said, that he wanted to win Bilbo´s heart. It was so beautiful. Bilbo smiled softly and looked at the black-haired. He sighed. He closed his eyes and swallowed. He could hardly believe it.

"Are you two now a couple?" suddenly someone asked him. Bilbo looked beside him and started to say something, but he did not know what to say. "Hey ... why do not you answer him?" Another sat down beside Bilbo and took the book away. "Give me that back, please!" Bilbo tried to repeat the book, but they just threw it away. "You should get used to answer us when we ask you something!"

"I ... I ..." Bilbo was panicked. Seeking help, he looked around. But why should anyone help him? No one has ever helped him.

"And now you´re starting to stutter?" the two boys started to laugh.

"We should teach you some respect!" they laughed and went with Bilbo behind the sports hall and pushed him against the wall.

"Please ... please let me go back, I do anything you want!" begged Bilbo them but at the next moment he could feel the pain in his stomach. He closed his eyes and just hoped that it would be over.  
...

"Thorin, where is your ugly duckling?" Nori asked when he noticed that Bilbo was not there anymore. Thorin looked at the students who watched them during training. He shrugged his shoulders.

"No idea. Did not you have him in view?" asked Thorin and left the field. He looked around and saw the book lying on the ground. He picked it up and looked around.

"BILBO?" he screamed, and waited for an answer, but no one answered him. Where was this idiot? He did not believe that Bilbo is just gone. Otherwise the idiot would not left the book back.

"Thorin, I think I know where he is!" Smaug came closer and pointed at two boys which came behind the sports hall and laughed, when they saw Thorin, who held the book in the hands. They ran away and were already out of reach. Thorin pressed Smaug the book in his hands and went to where he had seen the two boys.

"Bilbo?" he asked quietly, and heard a whimper. He looked around the corner and for a moment his heart remained beating.

Bilbo was on the ground. He was shaking and had curled up on the ground.

"Bilbo!" Thorin immediately went to him and wanted to help him up, but the moment by touching him twitched the boy together.

"No, let me go ... it's ... okay! ... It's okay!" he heard him say.

"No, Bilbo! It is nothing okay! You're bleeding!" Thorin wanted to try it again, but Bilbo backed away. He did not want that Thorin now condescends to let him help himself.

"Go back to your training and... and your friends. I ... I just go home and ... and ..." Bilbo tried to get up, but he can´t. He was too weak and the next thing he noticed was how Thorin picked him up in his arms.

"I'll take you to the infirmary! You do not go home!" he said an carried him away. Bilbo bit his lips and looked to Thorin. He helped him. He was nice. He seemed to like him. Embarrassed saw the younger one to the side and did not notice how they were being watched from all others.

"Does it hurt much?" The question jolted him from his thoughts. He looked at Thorin and shrugged his shoulders.

"It is okay. I'm used to it. Therefore, you must not bring me to the infirmary!" said Bilbo. "It's okay!"

"You say that quite often!" Thorin sighed.

"What?" asked Bilbo.

"Well, that everything would be okay... allegedly. It's not okay! You're hurt! They hurt you!" Thorin had arrived at the infirmary. He sat Bilbo on a bed and looked at him. "Do not worry. I'll find the guys and show them that they should not do anything with my dearest one!"

Bilbo sighed and shook his head. "No, do not do that. It's not worth it!"

"What is it not worth it?" Thorin simply do not understand him. Not because Bilbo spoke so softly, but because he always played everything down. As if it was not bad.

"Well, that situation with me!" Thorin sighed.

"Why do you say something like that always? I do not want to hear that!" the older one stroked over Bilbo´s cheek. "You´re cute... I want to protect you! So please... do not say such things!" Bilbo wanted to say something, but he did not. He only smiled.

The nurse came in and looked at Bilbo.

"Oh my God, what happened?" she asked and looked at him.

"Nothing. I fell down the stairs!" Bilbo lied.

"Stop lying. You were beaten up by two idiots!" The nurse looked at Thorin. "Have you seen them?"

"Yes, and I will show them that they should not do this a second time, if they still want to experience the next morning!" Thorin stroked again over Bilbo´s cheek. He smiled.

Thorin came closer and looked him deep into his eyes. "I will always be by your side!" he whispered. Bilbo's big eyes regarded Thorin. Thorin´s beard was soft and looked really great. He loved him since they were small and now Thorin was so close to him.

"Do you promise it?" he asked softly. Unsure if he could really trust Thorin.

"Yes, I promise you!" Thorin smiled softly and laid his lips gently on the lips of Bilbo. He closed his eyes and totally forgot that they were together with the nurse in the infirmary.


	6. Let the games begin...

Bilbo sighed.

“I … believe that the whole thing is a wonderful dream!” He smiled at Thorin. They both layed on one of the beds in the infirmary. After the nurse had taken care of Bilbo, and had said he should rest, Thorin had stayed with him. Since then, they layed together on a small bed. In Thorin’s arms he felt safe. It was nice. Very nice. Thorin smiled about Bilbo’s comment.

“Why a dream? I’m lying next to you, you have to see that this is not a dream!” Thorin shook his head.

“Yeah, I know… but…” Bilbo looked at the older one and smiled.

“But?” asked Thorin.

“You have to see that we both … do not fit together!” Bilbo replied and smiled wryly.

“You’re way too beautiful! Too beautiful for me!” the younger one sighed again. “I’ve never had someone … it’s unusual for me, just that you’re here with me now!” Bilbo tried to explain it somehow, so that Thorin understood it.

“I´ve always been alone…” he tried to smile. “It´s just amazing that you´re by my side!”

Thorin swallowed. “Bilbo … I … do not understand! Why do you say something like this?”

“Since I know you, I have loved you!” Bilbo whispered this. He was afraid of Thorin’s reaction. “And that’s why … because it seemed impossible to me that you could love me… I never expected that… I’ve always imagined how wonderful it would be if you would love me. How wonderful it would be if you hugged me and kissed me. How wonderful it would be if you were with me. If you say that everything is okay. It was just a pipe dream that never found fulfillment, and now… it is true…”

Bilbo smiled shyly. It troubled him that Thorin replied nothing. He just looked at him.

“I am sorry … I … I should keep my mouth shut and say nothing more!”. Bilbo laughed tormented and looked away.

“You’re cute … I did not know that you think and feel like that about me!” said Thorin and stroked over Bilbo’s cheek. Thorin smiled. He would probably win this bet easier than he thought. It pleased him inside that Bilbo had just revealed to him that he had loved him for ages … it did not bother him in the least.

…

The school day was over. Thorin had written to his friends that he would do something with Bilbo. This idiot was, after all so stupid and trusted Thorin.

“So, my dear, what do you want to do?” Thorin put an arm around Bilbo’s hips and kissed Bilbo’s cheek. “What … I want to do?” he asked unsure, looking at Thorin.

“I want to go home … and learn!” Thorin laughed. “Home and Learn? Oh come on Honey! Let’s do something! We can go to the cinema, or go out to eat!” Thorin smiled. Bilbo shook his head.

“No, I can not!” he said.

“You can not? Cause you will learn?”

“No, because I have no money!”

“You have no money?” Thorin looked at him and smiled.

"But that’s not so bad. I will invite you!” He took Bilbo’s hand in his. But he just shook his head.

“No, no. I can not accept it!” Bilbo’s voice was quiet. Thorin sighed. “You’re stubborn!” He smiled and stroked Bilbo’s cheek.

“Don’t you want to do something with me?” he asked softly, trying it now that way. Maybe he’d get Bilbo to go along with him by pity. Everyone who knew them should see that they were now a couple. “I would love to go with you!” Bilbo looked at him.

“But …” He looked away. “No buts! You come with me!” Thorin pulled Bilbo to himself. He kissed him and smiled.

“Come on!” The younger one nodded.

“Yeah…” He smiled.

…

In the city Thorin held Bilbo’s hand. “So what do you want to eat?” he asked, looking at him.

“Oh … I do not know!” Bilbo felt uncertain. He had never been in the city. He did not like to be there. They all stared at him, as if he were a monster.

“Can I just go home?” he asked softly. “The people… they certainly think that I am weird!”

“You´re not! And you will stay with me!” Thorin looked around. “And no one is watching us!” Thorin smiled. “What do you think of Chinese food?” he asked, turning to Bilbo.

“Chinese food? I’ve never tried!” Bilbo smiled.

“Then we must do this! Come on, I know a great Chinese place. You’ll love the food!” Thorin pulled Bilbo with him in the next street. Bilbo looked around. He did not like the alley in which they were in. It was empty, dirty and uninviting.

“Thorin … I will not stay here!” he whispered softly and looked at him. “Please let’s go back!” Thorin turned to look at him and realized how tense Bilbo was holding his hand.

“Nothing can happen here. I’m here to protect you! The Chinese place is unfortunately on the other side of the shopping street, so we have to go through here!” Bilbo looked at him.

“Is there no other way?”

“Only one but it would be longer. I just wanted to get as soon as possible to the Chinese place. I am sorry!” Bilbo smiled.

“It’s okay, as long as you stay with me!”

“Of course!” Thorin smiled again. He turned and walked on, and without Bilbo seeing him, Thorin rolled his eyes. Bilbo was an anxious nuisance. Not just an ugly duckling. Simply annoying. These 30 days he would be almost unbearable, but he could not lose the bet.

“There it is!” Thorin smiled and looked at Bilbo. The younger one looked at the building and looked through the window in the restaurant.

“That’s pretty full!” he said softly.

“So what?” Thorin did not understand this objection. What was so bad about that… a restaurant was always pretty full!

“As well as there are many from our school!” Thorin sighed, looked through the window and nodded.

“Do you mind that?”

“Me? No, that does not bother me. … I’m just asking because you certainly do not want to be seen with me!” At that moment Thorin lost his patience. He took Bilbo by the collar, lifted him up and pushed him against the wall. Bilbo looked at him with wide eyes.

“Thorin … let … let me down!” Bilbo’s voice trembled.

“Please, I … I did not mean to upset you!”

“But you have!”

Bilbo closed his eyes. “I’m sorry!” he whispered softly.

“Oh please… stop apologizing yourself!” Thorin rolled his eyes.

“I am sor-” Bilbo stopped. Just as Thorin wanted it. He did not want to lose him, so he said nothing more. It was perhaps better that way, right? He did not know. Thorin was angry and he looked angry at Bilbo.

The younger one had started crying again. How awful. This idiot.

“Let me… let me down!” he heard Bilbo. “Please!”.

Thorin sighed. He realized what a blunder he was doing here. He let Bilbo go immediately, who looked at him and turned and went away.

“Bilbo! Stay here, I did not mean to… please! BILBO!” Thorin tried to save the situation, but Bilbo ran away from him and disappeared shortly thereafter in the crowd.

“Oh fuck!” Thorin hit the wall and sighed.

“Congratulation Thorin… good job!” Thorin said to himself and looked to the crowd. He would never find Bilbo. He would have to wait until he saw him tomorrow at school. He just hoped, that Bilbo was stupid enough to come back to him.

…

Bilbo had run as fast as he could to get home. He unlocked the door, walked into his small apartment and closed the door behind him. He wiped his cheeks and eyes to wipe away the tears.

The key he had in his hand simply fall to the ground. Just like his backpack before he went to the bed and pressed his face into the pillow.

Thorin’s hateful glance, he would probably never forget it … it was just … awful and scary. He took his doll in his hands and stroked it.

“If this is love, then I prefer to stay alone for the rest of my life!” he whispered and closed his eyes.


	7. Show me love

"You're an idiot!" Smaug and Nori laughed and they looked at Thorin.

Thorin grumbled and did not look at his friends. He hated it when they make fun of him and his friends were doing it always.

"Oh shut up!" he bleated back and looked around the class.

Bilbo did not look at Thorin a single time. He ignored Thorin- and that was something that the raven-haired man did not like.

He wanted to win this bet. No matter what he had to do...

He had to try to reconcile with Bilbo again. But, Bilbo was an idiot.

A silly little idiot who did not deserve it differently.

Thorin didn’t doubt that he would believe him. Thorin smiled and was glad, because at this moment the school bell rang. He took his things and stood in front of Bilbo's table.

"I don’t think it’s okay that you ignore me. After all I want to be your friend.  I… want to apologize for all the things I´ve said and done to you… Apologize for what happened yesterday. And you won’t give me a chance!"

Thorin sighed and looked at him with big eyes.

"I hope that you give me a second chance, so I can show you that I mean it honestly. I mean… the fact is that I did not lie to you… And that I really want to be with you!"

Bilbo looked up when he heard Thorin´s voice and looked at him in silence. He shook his head and took his backpack.

"You’re not being serious. You showed that much yesterday, and very directly. What do you think of me? That I’m stupid and will forgive you?" with these words Bilbo left the classroom.

But he did not hear how Thorin´s friends laughed.

He looked angrily at his friends, murmured again:

"Shut up, damn it!" Before he ran after Bilbo and caught him in the hallway. He grabbed him by the wrist, pulled him closer and kissed him in the full crowd of students.

He gently placed his hands on Bilbo's cheeks and closed his eyes. At first he felt some resistance, but after few seconds Bilbo returned the kiss gently.

"What are you doing?" whispered Bilbo softly and stopped kissing Thorin's lips.

"I'll prove it to you!" Thorin responded and stroked through Bilbo's curls.

He smiled at him sweetly and did not mind that all looked to them. Let them.

No matter, when they all see that he was now Bilbo´s friend… Bilbo´s boyfriend.

Let them see, that they were a couple now and then... in a month, he would reveal the bet. He was sure, that he would win the bet, and Bilbo was stupid enough to believe him.

 

"You still don’t believe me, right?" Thorin asked softly and shook his head.

"I know that yesterday… that was stupid and thoughtless of me. But I just can’t stand it when you think so badly of yourself. That is not what you should do. You're a wonderful person, Bilbo. Please do not forget it!"

Thorin leaned forward and kissed Bilbo's forehead.

"You are wonderful. In everything you do!" He smiled again and took again Bilbo´s wrist.

"I ... don’t know ..." was Bilbo's answer.

He was uncertain in many ways and therefore he was not sure whether he really should give Thorin confidence again.

He looked at Thorin, deep into his eyes and bit his lip.

His eyes turned towards the ground, deep in thought. He felt a hand on his chin, and Thorin lifted it up and looked at him.

 

"Don’t turn your gaze to the ground. Look at me and see how wonderful you are in my eyes!"

Thorin really tried everything to convince Bilbo to trust him, and it´s seemed to work, because Bilbo smiled and nodded slightly.

"O-Okay ... but please don’t ... hurt me okay? I don’t have much and you're the first person who’s ever said this, or anything like this to me."

Bilbo spoke very softly. He did not want everyone to hear it. He did not even want Thorin to hear it, but he did of course, and looked down at the brown-haired man.

"Oh Bilbo... I don’t believe you. How can you have thoughts that are so… so… I don´t know… bad? You've got parents… and they love you! I´m sure. Parents always love their children!"

Thorin kissed Bilbo's cheek and took off his backpack. Bilbo himself said nothing on the matter of his parents. He just smiled and said softly,

"You're probably right. They have to love me…" He sighed a little and looked at his backpack.

"Hey, Give me my stuff back!".

"No, I'd like you to wear your backpack and today we won’t go into the city! I promise you."

Bilbo looked at him, slightly startled. "And just where are you taking me?" he asked.

"Does it matter? We’re just going!" came the reply.

"What?! We can’t go! We still have school!" the shorter said, disbelief in his voice.

"Bilbo my dear… just trust me." Thorin pulled him out of school, on the playground.

"Please my darling." Thorin smiled and heard Bilbo sigh.

"Alright ... but only this once!" Bilbo nodded and was already pulled around the corner. There was a motorcycle and in the next moment a helmet was placed on his head.

"... A motorcycle?"

Panic crept up in Bilbo, but Thorin just smiled.

"Where's your helmet?" Bilbo asked.

"You're wearing it!" Thorin replied.

"But Thorin...! you have to wear one. You’re the driver!"

"No, you're my boyfriend. You have to wear it!" he replied with a scoff.

Thorin sat on his motorcycle and patted the space behind him.

Bilbo threw a last look back before he climbed timidly on the motorcycle and wrapped his arms around Thorin's midsection.

"Ready?" Thorin asked, grinning, and Bilbo nodded.

"Yes ... I-I-I think so!" he said weakly.

"Well ... then hold on tight!" Thorin started the motorcycle and took a last look at Bilbo.

Bilbo held onto him convulsively. He pressed his body tight to Thorin´s and had his eyes closed.

"Don’t worry my little one, I'll take care of you!"

Thorin said with a chuckle. He drove off and hit the gas, hard, and the engine roared.

He wanted to scare Bilbo a little bit so that would hold onto him even tighter. He wanted to feel close to him.

He wanted to feel how Bilbo trusted him, more and more. He wanted Bilbo’s trust; the naïve and blind, devoted trust.


End file.
